Does it get much better? Saturday sex with my TGF, then Sunday the circus with my GGF and her kids, at the Honda Center, where there were PETA members waiting to give us anti circus fliers with pictures of tortured baby elephants. Inside everything they could think of to market was whittled down to popcorn $8.00, cotton candy with a circus rave hat $12, a whirling electrical toy that looked like a bunch of used condoms when it wasn’t whirling $22, and some flashing Icee drink that I didn’t try. The kids fought violently over the whirling toy. Sister and brother battling it out in classic sibling rivalry, pure id power, with mom playing referee and me blithely pretending not to notice. As we walked out, a kid pawned his PETA coloring book on me, saying “it’s a coloring book” as if I was retarded. Thinking it was a circus coloring book, and a real score, when I got outside I realized the full extent of the pawn off, that kid was repudiating PETA and laughing at me at the same time for thinking he, a total stranger, would give me, a total stranger, a genuine Barnum, Baily, and Ringling Brothers Circus picture book, what a tool.
Then Monday afternoon a job interview with a Persian guy where I get to really talk about politics. I was having a great conversation about Syria, Egypt, Iraq and Iran. I was certainly enjoying myself and now I realize that this guy probably thought I was a nutcase or near terrorist. I was talking about being a socialist, as the original Baathists were, and I reminded him of that, also appreciating Osama Bin Laden’s luck, or gall or sheer intelligence. I did say I liked the developments in Egypt but I was worried that the secular forces were limited to the military like Turkey. Turns out he was a son of a General in the Shahs military. His whole family left Iran to live in LA. Never tell a potential boss what you really think….I broke the first rule of working class relations with capitalists and their henchmen. It was so refreshing though to speak my mind as if somebody really respected my opinion, not just in the classroom but for real. It has been too many years as a mentally downtrodden serf that I lived lies about myself. I called them different aspects of my personality. I liked to pretend that it didn’t matter that I hid whole aspects of myself to the world. I guess the addiction was a way of dealing with it by deep psychic burial. Oh, yeah then after the job interview I went to dinner with a new Tgirl, black again, I do like black girls, we had Chinese and I liked the way she returned a plate of food she didn’t like. Then we went for a long ride to the other side of Palos Verdes Hill, walked around Fort Funston where she froze her ass off, and then went back to Torrance where she made a blunt and I even smoked a couple hits before we went into a store where she tried on dresses and then bought some after wandering around like stoned kids. I was lost half the time, then I got a grip, getting lost in a Fallas store, how embarrassing. I must admit, I did like looking at the colors of the dresses against her fine ass. But I was stoned, really stoned, I could hardly drive, I kept forgetting where I was, reading signs on the road and meditating on their meaning, “405 straight ahead, 710 right lane. I wonder what that means…damn I am spacing out! Straight.” That was me after I dropped her off at her place. She would have come home with me but I had a girlfriend waiting for me more or less. I was tempted to see what would happen if they were united in conflict over me, but decided not to go that route. That could backfire really bad.
It was more and less, I got home, she was radiant in copper makeup and a red highlighted wig. She was stunning like a goddess in her flimsy cotton dress. And then she was gone, with my car, as usual out with a client or friends, or at the clubs, which means work, smoking dope or recruiting….that girl can make some money! I just want some of it to come my way.
Anyway it was fun to be with her stoned, I told her so, and she thought it was cool. We played around for a few minutes and then she split after making sure I got to observe her in all her goddessness. My little call girl girlfriend.
Earlier that very evening, I was having realizations, in the Fallas store where the new tgirl was seducing me with sexual images in the dresses, which I am sure I noticed because I was stoned. It made going shopping entertaining. I liked the way she innovated, when there were no dressing rooms or mirrors to see herself in, she innovated, taking a mirror for sale and propping it up creating a temporary fashion fantasy. I tripped on it. Once I got over my fear that we would be accused of being shoplifters, me the worry wart. Stoned paranoid reaction, but I was entertained, more than I ever had in recent years whilst shopping with a girl determined to have fun. I did too, I felt young and probably foolish, as I was really stoned.