Angst Repair

The words slip, they drip, conform to specifications, linguistically the palate is shaped by the teeth, jaw, glottal stop as in “yaaka?” in Nez Perce, meaning “Black Bear” and “decumbent urinators” re females in the new season of Futurama.

I am stalling, looking for some inspiration to come to me. I feel sad that I missed my communist meeting last night at the Peace center, it makes me wonder if I am really a radical anymore, or if I ever truly was. I mean sure I enjoyed throwing a brick through a corporate window or two back in the day, and I enjoy being in the thick of a demonstration, but cops won’t bother me anymore, they seem to think I am old and harmless. I comes in handy when people all around me are getting their skulls cracked with billy clubs and I get “are you alright sir?”

Anarchist Brick Throwers.

When all else fails go for nostalgia.

It reminds me of my own days as a brick thrower, granted we did it at night and didn’t wear black masks, but the concept of energy in action is really fun.

And then there is the controversy that San Francisco loves when someone ups the drama with a new twist to the entertainment mentality that predominates in the city. Its not like in LA where we expect it to be on the part of a celebrity on the Tube, in San Francisco, being as small as it is, it is the entertaining masses on the street. Some young Turk comes to town and makes a splash and everyone gets up in arms over it. Anybody can play, just be interesting enough to make the conversations rage at that nights party.

As I like to say, tempest in a teapot. It seems I am in good company, Cicero, one of my hero’s is the originator of the phrase “in De Legibus, circa 52BC. The translation of his “Excitabat fluctus in simpulo” is often given as “He was stirring up billows in a ladle.” Other cultures have versions of the phrase in their own languages. The translation of the Netherlands version is ‘a storm in a glass of water’, and the Hungarian ‘tempest in a potty’.” from The Phrase Finder. I found two typos in that post, I wonder about the Latin.

I just thought it would be cool to remember some more stuff out of the past. like the Nazz “Under the Ice”

Or Emerson, Lake and Palmer “Lucky Man”

But again I am stalling because I am not really into anything at the moment. Just killing time until its time to make dinner.

Passages Malibu is such bullshit. I quit drugs because I had to. I liked them too much and was too habituated to coping as a time killer when I was at loose ends, only my body giving out and making it impossible for me to keep up the habit made me quit. I also quit when I went traveling but inevitably after I came home, that old habit would get me, bored out of my mind, too lazy to do anything creative about it, I would follow the path of least resistance and be down there on San Julian or where ever, out on the street with the losers and dream merchants, taking in the action, or lack there of, a little nervous, but mostly just looking for the inevitable, some guy with a nervous look, walking along with little balloons of dope in his mouth, spitting out dime bags one or two at a time.

Ah nostalgia. I am thinking of the not to distant past. But that was years ago and now my habits are regular, Denny’s and a movie and in bed by midnight with Adult Swim on the tube. Last night my GF and I went to see “Silver Linings” and the guy had the same outfit as me, the same gray sweats and jacket with silver Nikes. His excuse was being let out of a mental institution, mine is having a kidney transplant. It was very white bread, but fun, Robert De Nero had his best role since Goodfellas. My GF and I ate at a Fish Taco place, saw the movie at the discount matinee, we drove all the way to Anaheim Hills for this. Then all the way home I angsted over my other girlfriend driving my car and messing it up by buying a used tire when she got a flat in it driving to some club where she was stripping in. Luckily my regular GF only got upset when I stressed over how she drove into the Vons gas station, letting people get ahead of us in line. She drives fast but lets people cut in. All this simply because I rented a car for my GF so my girlfriend could use my car and I walk to the Food 4 Less to get discount Salsa and stuff. I wanted to have a three way meeting of the minds over this car business, it can’t go on like this, my unemployment has run out… I really need to get a life.

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